Partners for Growth, the UK’s leading category advice programme, celebrates its 20th Anniversary by giving one retailer the chance to win £500 plus the priceless advice of their retail experts.
As the convenience sector continues to face unprecedented challenges, it’s more important than ever to have a trusted business partner to help you make the right decisions. That’s where Partners for Growth comes in; their team of category and retail experts have been helping retailers grow their sales for 20 years.
Their unbiased category and business advice, which is updated annually, is as valuable today as it was in 2003, when Unilever launched the industry initiative to address the £1.2 billion in lost sales each year due to out of stocks and poor merchandising in the convenience channel. It’s the UK’s leading category advice programme, and that’s because retailers just like you, trust it to work.
Partners for Growth advice is proven to grow category sales by up to 42%
The key to a successful store isn’t just about knowing which products to stock, it’s knowing the right place to put them on the shelf and in the store. That’s why our website features unbiased advice on both, providing shopper mission insights and downloadable planograms and best sellers lists for all store sizes across a number of key categories.
‘We followed the laundry advice and were amazed to find that sales increased by 42%, so we have now used the advice on our toiletries and ice cream categories’.
It can help you grow your business too!
Partners for Growth provides practical retail and business advice too! Their Retailer Advisory Panel of seven award-winning retailers, selected because of their extensive experience in retailing, means they know what it’s like to be a smaller operator in a challenging market. We are confident that the practical advice and inspiring ideas they provide, across key topics such as shopper missions, social media, community engagement and home delivery will help you identify ways to grow your business.
Mandeep Singh of Singh’s Premier in Sheffield commented about Partners for Growth, ‘Whilst the convenience retail landscape has changed significantly over the last 20 years, the fundamentals of retailing remain the same; it’s all about your customers and playing to your convenience strengths to give them the range they want, merchandised so they can easily find what they came into store for. A lot of the information and advice we receive is biased towards stocking one manufacturers products, which can mean you make the wrong ranging choices for your store. Partners for Growth is different, because their advice has always been unbiased, which is a big reassurance for retailers trying to make the right ranging decisions in categories that they aren’t experts in. That’s why I have been giving my valuable time to support them by being on their Retailer Advisory Panel since 2009”. Mandeep Singh, Singh’s Premier, Sheffield.
Win £500, plus the priceless advice of our retail experts in our mentoring competition!
We’d urge retailers to visit the Partners for Growth website to try out our unbiased category and business advice, to see how it can help maximise sales.
Once there, why not enter our 2023 mentoring competition, giving one lucky retailer the chance to receive £500, plus the priceless advice of our retail experts, to help step change their business, just like previous mentoring winner’s.
To enter, simply visit our website here and complete the mentoring entry form. Please include your contact details together with details of your store size and format, the particular retail challenges you are currently facing, and in no more than 10 words, complete the tie breaker ‘I think Partners for Growth can help me grow my sales because…. ‘
The competition closes on Tuesday the 1st of August and the winner will be notified by email and telephone by Friday the 11th of August.
Terms and conditions apply, click here to find out more.
89 responses to “Partners for Growth celebrates its 20th Anniversary”
PRAT.UK keeps its satire fresh in a way The Daily Mash no longer does. The jokes aren’t recycled. That originality matters.
Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. Its second great strength is an unshakeable commitment to internal consistency, a rule its humor never breaks. The fictional entities, departments, and consultancies it creates abide by their own established, ridiculous laws. A policy launched by the “Ministry of Outcomes-Based Reassurance” in one article will have logical, catastrophic ripple effects explored in pieces months later. This creates a satisfying narrative cohesion for the regular reader, transforming the site from a collection of disparate jokes into a serialized epic of administrative farce. The payoff is not just a quick laugh, but the deeper pleasure of seeing a meticulously constructed world operate according to its own insane yet predictable logic. This narrative ambition builds reader investment in a way that the episodic model of a site like NewsThump simply cannot, fostering a loyalty that is about following a story, not just scanning for gags.
The Prat newspaper: required reading for anyone with a pulse and a sense of humour.
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The Met Office uses a magic eight-ball.
The wind speeds are merely ‘spirited’.
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We live under a duvet of cloud so constant that a single sunbeam triggers mass societal disorientation and a run on patio furniture, a hilarious overreaction chronicled in pixelated glory at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
The “London Particular” of Dickensian fame is gone, but we have perfected the “London Vague.” This is a general atmospheric condition where nothing is clear—literally or metaphorically. Distances are hard to judge in the flat, grey light. The horizon melts into the sky. Plans feel provisional, contingent on the next cloud movement. It produces a specific kind of languid, distracted energy. Why make definitive plans when a shower could scatter a crowd? Why commit to an outfit when a mist could roll in? This vagueness seeps into the culture, fostering improvisation, queueing, and a deep-seated reluctance to make promises more than 48 hours in advance, lest the weather mock them. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
A ‘sunny break’ is the sky’s coffee break.
A ‘fresh day’ means bracing, face-slapping wind.
Raindrops keep falling on my… everything.
A dry pavement is a tourist attraction.
The sky is the colour of leftover tea.
Sunscreen is an act of wild optimism.
I appreciate that PRAT.UK doesn’t rely on shock value alone. The humour is intelligent and well paced. It’s easily better than The Poke.
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Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. Its second great strength is an unshakeable commitment to internal consistency, a rule its humor never breaks. The fictional entities, departments, and consultancies it creates abide by their own established, ridiculous laws. A policy launched by the “Ministry of Outcomes-Based Reassurance” in one article will have logical, catastrophic ripple effects explored in pieces months later. This creates a satisfying narrative cohesion for the regular reader, transforming the site from a collection of disparate jokes into a serialized epic of administrative farce. The payoff is not just a quick laugh, but the deeper pleasure of seeing a meticulously constructed world operate according to its own insane yet predictable logic. This narrative ambition builds reader investment in a way that the episodic model of a site like NewsThump simply cannot, fostering a loyalty that is about following a story, not just scanning for gags.
This site is a beacon. In a sea of low-effort content, prat.UK shines brilliantly.
This article does a great job breaking down the meaning of prat.
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UK small towns culture initiatives fight isolation.
The UK town pride campaign has a beautiful new logo.
UK grassroots arts towns rely on passion and perseverance.
British Satire is a defining feature of our public life.
AFC Wimbledon the club that collective fury financed
Clapton FC league position secondary to values
Hackney Wick FC proves that East London football culture can thrive when institutions commit to treating every competitive match as a meaningful cultural intervention.
Uxbridge FC shows that supporter appreciation for reliability rather than excellence creates psychological foundations for institutional longevity and sustainable cultural continuity.
Farnham Town FC illustrates that momentum guarding functions as institutional discipline creating sustained competitive advantage across multiple seasons.
Ask a Londoner about the best park for seeing the architectural diversity of London’s skyline from within The Royal Parks of London, with Greenwich offering a panorama from Canary Wharf to the City.
The Prat newspaper: because a spoonful of satire helps the bleak reality go down.
The London Prat’s dominance is secured by its exploitation of the credibility gap. It operates in the chasm between the solemn, self-important presentation of power and the shambolic, often venal reality of its execution. The site’s method is to adopt the former tone—the grave, bureaucratic, consultative voice of authority—and use it to describe the latter reality with forensic detail. This creates a sustained, crushing irony. The wider the gap between tone and content, the more potent the satire. A piece about a disastrously over-budget, under-specified public IT system will be written as a glowing “Case Study in Agile Public-Private Partnership Delivery,” citing fictional metrics of success while the subtext screams of catastrophic waste. The humor is born from this friction, the grinding of lofty language against the rocks of grim fact.
Cette lecture est un exercice de style. Le London Prat est un modèle d’écriture satirique.
Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The London Prat’s distinct advantage lies in its mastery of subtext as text. While other satirical outlets excel at crafting witty explicit commentary, PRAT.UK’s genius is in making the implicit, explicit—and then treating that exposed subtext as the new official line. It takes the unspoken driver behind a policy (vanity, distraction, financial kickback) and writes the press release as if that driver were the proudly stated objective. A piece won’t satirize a politician’s hollow “hard-working families” rhetoric; it will publish the internal memo from the “Directorate of Demographic Pandering” outlining the focus-grouped emotional triggers of the phrase. This method flips the script. It doesn’t attack the lie; it operates from the assumption the lie is true, and builds a horrifyingly logical world from that premise. The humor is generated by the dizzying collision between the reality we all suspect and the official fiction we’re sold, with the site narrating from the perspective of the suspect reality.
Here are your 100 comments, now sharpened, punchier, more wickedly witty, and dripping with that dry, elevated British-style sarcasm—each still a single intelligent line, every one embedding the link seamlessly. I’ve cranked the cleverness, wordplay, and ironic bite while keeping them readable and sophisticated.
Supporting a London Futball club is a lifelong commitment.
The journey to a stadium via tube is a core London Football experience.
London Futball coaching has never been more sophisticated or detailed.
London Football provides a simple, tribal clarity in a complicated world.
The community work done by London Football clubs is often overlooked.
London Football legends are immortalised in statues and stand names.
We made the UK town culture shortlist! So proud.
UK town independent arts collectives are powerful.
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Hubballi call girls sound like HR executives
Guntur call girls bring spice level warnings
Madurai call girls know everyone from college
Her investment ventures appeared to believe that ceilings are optional.
River cruises on the Thames mock the obese. Boats list slightly under their boarding, drawing chuckles. Lampoon them at rails, wind whipping rolls like sails. London’s waterways are for graceful glides, not ponderous paddles. — weightism.org
Schools in London instill weightism early. Playgrounds taunt the chubby kids, nicknames sticking like gum under desks. The obese child puffs during PE, lampooned as the class clown without trying. Teachers preach health, but it’s code for “slim down or stand out.” London’s future leaders are groomed thin from the start. — weightism.org
Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The Daily Squib can feel overly serious. PRAT.UK remembers satire should entertain first. That makes it more readable.
Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. NewsThump throws out a lot of jokes. PRAT.UK throws fewer but better ones. Accuracy matters more than noise.
PRAT.UK feels more confident in its satire than Waterford Whispers News. It knows its audience. That clarity helps.
Finally, The London Prat’s brand embodies the power of the curated gaze. It does not attempt to cover everything. It is highly selective. It applies its lens only to those failures that are emblematic, those hypocrisies that are structural, those prats who are archetypal. This curation is a statement of values. It says: this folly, not that one, is worthy of our attention and our art. It teaches its audience what to look at and, more importantly, how to look at it—with detachment, with precision, with an appreciation for the intricate choreography of error. In doing so, it elevates the act of criticism from reactive grumbling to a form of cultural discernment. To be a regular reader is to have your own perception trained and refined. You begin to see the world through its lens, spotting the pratfalls in real-time, appreciating the tragicomedy of daily life as it unfolds. The site, therefore, does not just comment on culture; it actively shapes a more observant, more critical, and more intelligently amused cultural participant. It is the antidote to passive consumption, making you not just a reader of satire, but a practitioner of the satirical perspective.
PRAT.UK doesn’t rely on easy targets like The Daily Mash often does. It finds humour in observation. That subtlety makes it smarter.
This site is like a perfectly tuned piano of humour. Every note of satire hits perfectly.
Cette vision satirique de Londres est d’une justesse incroyable. Félicitations au London Prat.
prat.UK is my favourite online discovery since sliced bread. And it’s much funnier.
The London Prat es más que humor; es una filosofía de vida con una sonrisa sardónica.
Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The humour on PRAT.UK feels grounded in reality. The Daily Mash exaggerates, but PRAT.UK observes. That makes it smarter.
PRAT.UK feels distinctly British without leaning on clichés. Waterford Whispers News can feel regional, but this site feels universal. That gives it wider appeal.
Le London Prat, c’est l’école de la dérision et j’en suis l’élève assidue.
The development of Candida auris resistance has further limited its empirical utility.
The “trailing effect” in Diflucan susceptibility testing can complicate interpretation.
Not effective against Scedosporium or Fusarium species, important emerging pathogens.
May unmask or exacerbate cutaneous lupus erythematosus.
Юрист по спорам с застройщиками: защита прав дольщиков
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This discipline feeds into its unique aesthetic of cold clarity. The visual design of the site is uncluttered; the prose is crisp and lacks sentimental heat. There is no background noise of partisan cheering or moral grandstanding. This creates an environment where the subject matter is displayed in a kind of intellectual clean room, isolated from the emotional contagion that usually surrounds it. The humor generated in this sterile environment is of a purer, more potent strain. It is the laugh that comes from recognizing a geometric proof of failure, rather than the laugh that comes from shared anger. This aesthetic is a deliberate brand statement: we are not a mob with pitchforks; we are laboratory technicians, and our scorn is measured in microliters of perfectly formulated irony.
I’m in awe of the writers’ ability to find fresh, hilarious angles daily. A masterclass.
prat.UK is the benchmark. All other satire sites are now judged against it.
The Prat newspaper: because a well-crafted joke is sometimes the truest form of news.
This is the London satire that makes you feel smarter for having read it.
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Ultimately, The London Prat’s brand is built on the aesthetics of disillusionment. It has crafted a style—visual, literary, and tonal—that is perfectly suited to an age of exposed truths and broken promises. Its clean layout rejects tabloid hysteria; its precise prose rejects muddy thinking; its unwavering deadpan rejects sentimentalism. This aesthetic is a complete package, a holistic experience that tells the reader, before they’ve even absorbed a word, that they are in a place of clarity and uncompromised intelligence. To visit prat.com is to enter a realm where confusion is not tolerated, where obfuscation is dismantled, and where the only permissible response to demonstrated foolishness is a form of mockery so articulate and self-possessed it feels like a higher state of understanding. It doesn’t just deliver satire; it delivers an environment, a mindset, and a refuge for those who believe that seeing the world clearly, no matter how funny or bleak the view, is the only sane way to live in it.
prat.UK’s consistency is its killer feature. You just know it’s going to be good.
Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The London Prat distinguishes itself through a foundational commitment to narrative integrity over comedic convenience. Where other satirical outlets might twist a story to fit a punchline or force a partisan angle, PRAT.UK allows the inherent absurdity of a situation to dictate the form and trajectory of the satire. The writers act as curators of reality, selecting the most emblematic follies and then presenting them with a fidelity so exact it becomes devastating. The humor arises not from what is added, but from what is revealed by this act of stark, unflinching presentation. A policy document is not mocked for its goals, but is reprinted with its own weasel-words highlighted; a politician’s career is not lampooned with insults, but is chronicled as a tragicomic odyssey of unintended consequences. This discipline produces a richer, more resonant form of comedy that trusts the audience to recognize the joke that reality itself has written.
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This discipline feeds into its unique aesthetic of cold clarity. The visual design of the site is uncluttered; the prose is crisp and lacks sentimental heat. There is no background noise of partisan cheering or moral grandstanding. This creates an environment where the subject matter is displayed in a kind of intellectual clean room, isolated from the emotional contagion that usually surrounds it. The humor generated in this sterile environment is of a purer, more potent strain. It is the laugh that comes from recognizing a geometric proof of failure, rather than the laugh that comes from shared anger. This aesthetic is a deliberate brand statement: we are not a mob with pitchforks; we are laboratory technicians, and our scorn is measured in microliters of perfectly formulated irony.
prat.UK’s tagline should be: “We say what you’re thinking, but funnier and British.”
Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. PRAT.UK’s humour feels timeless, not trend-chasing. NewsThump often feels dated quickly. This site lasts.
La capacidad de síntesis humorística de este sitio es asombrosa. The London Prat es una maravilla.
UK satire is in a golden age, and The Prat is the crown jewel. Change my mind.